Thank you for reading this column inspired by Katie’s birthday and sheltering in place
*suck from a special nipple- 5cc at 6 weeks
*lift head from surface while in prone position – 20 weeks 1 day (my birthday!)
*removal of gastrostomy feeding tube -8 months
*chromosomes used in research which successfully resulted in a new method of stretching and staining the bands which means more accurate diagnoses – 1 year
*sit – some of these require that I locate her baby book
*pull to stand-
*walk – somewhere around 3 years
As I attempt to write about these early milestones, I notice that the milestones most parents fret about must have been inconsequential in the scheme of her life. I have no recollection of when they occurred. As you can see though, I remember the ages she did things that other parents would not know were momentous events. Sucking and neck strength, most of your children had these skills the day they came home from the hospital. Every time I hold a newborn I marvel at the strong neck holding up its heavy head and remember the games and histrionics we performed to encourage Katie to lift hers. Tears well in my eyes when I hear a baby suckle at a breast and my memory turns to the sweet nurse who was brave enough to break through my “I must keep pumping – breast is best” barricade to grant me permission to stop. She had witnessed my relentlessness in attempting to bring forth milk from breasts whose only stimulation came from the “swoop-swoop” of an electric pump. I drank copious amounts of water and was never a second late hooking up the pump. I would sit alone in the “Mother’s Room” rejoicing if any dribble of milk appeared, but mostly I grieved the moments lost with my precious child while I wasn’t in the nursery. I slurped my water, the machine swoop-swooped, and my heart pounded through my chest while I wished I was near enough to see and touch her. While we drove the 90 minutes each way to see her, I splinted my abdominal incision with a pillow and ignored the pain brought on by each bump in the road. Pardon me, I lapsed into a story for another day, but you can see why I didn’t want to spend any of my moments in Peoria without her…. back to milestones.
One thing I learned very early on was that things happen when they are supposed to happen. I can encourage, cajole, wish, hope, pray, stew, worry, pace, cry, bribe, demand, threaten, and give up; all to no avail. None of these things will make any difference if the time is not right. Encouraging and cajoling will help bring the child to the milestone. Hoping and praying will bring me peace and comfort during the wait, but always the most important part for keeping sane is to know that “I am not in control”. I find that to be a relief. I realize that if the milestone is never reached it is not due to my lack of trying or through any fault of my own. I am not in control. This did not give me a free pass to not try to help her reach the milestones, it simply made me realize that if I did my best, everything would happen as it is supposed to….when it is supposed….IF it is supposed to happen.
When I learned about Prader Willi Syndrome’s bizarre characteristics. My main concern was that my child would always be hungry. In Social Studies we learned that the three basic needs of civilization are food, shelter, and clothing. Knowing that I would never be able to squelch the pangs of hunger of my child left me feeling inadequate as a mother, unable to provide an essential need. Elimination of the hunger has been my fervent prayer since she was four days old when we were alerted to the possibility of PWS. I have always hoped that modern medicine would accomplish this in her lifetime. I never expected to see it during mine. Her gila monster spit medicine(<ahref=”http://http://vandemom2.wordpress.com/2014/06/01/rescued-by-a-gila-monster-and-the-creativity-of-scientists-we-hope/“></a>)
might not be the full monty, but it surely is the closest anyone has come thus far.
I was at work and Katie was with her father after spending the day with her grandmother and various aunts when she sent me this text:
July 22 5:35 pm
what should i do dinner i went tramimu because aunt chris want to show aunt mary is good she had a bad one last night and not very hunury had bumch salad what should do
TRANSLATION of the words, not the punctuation what should I do for dinner, I went to tiramisu (a restaurant) for lunch because aunt chris wanted to show aunt mary that it is good because she had a bad meal there last night, so I am not very hungry because I had a bunch of salad ….what should I do?
BEST TEXT EVER.
A milestone I never thought I would see.