I am greedy and have not shared my lovely meal, the critters are not happy with this turn of events.
Before me sat a cup of steaming Gevalia decaf with a touch of honey and cream; crunchy, seedy toast topped with Michelle‘s sweet red-raspberry jam; plump, chilly black grapes, and a piping hot omelette made with spinach, portobello mushrooms, vidalia onion, red pepper, bacon, ricotta and cheddar cheeses. I sat in my swimsuit and sarong, (because why would I wear anything other than that?) decided that I needed to scootch just a little bit in another direction to optimize my lake view…..scootching is NOT reccomended in plastic lawn chairs!! As I attempted this, two chair legs folded underneath and catapulted me off of the seat. Did you see “Identity Theif”? Remember the part where Melissa McCarthy gets hit by the car? She is hurled over the hood, against the windshield, onto the concrete and everyone thinks she is dead……yeah, that was me after being launched from the chair! I rolled, yes, actually rolled multiple times before landing sprawled on the deck with my sarong wrapped haphazardly around me. I untangled myself, gingerly arose to a sitting, then kneeling, then standing (only with the support of the nearby A/C unit) position. I hobbled over to pick up my upturned chair while thinking, “Oh, crud, I have to tell the proprietors that I broke their chair!”, as I upended it I realized it wasn’t broken, after all. I am currently seated in the wretched thing, the legs had merely folded under. My lumbar region is not happy about the incident, as I was already living on an injury from last week, but….on the bright side, the nearby squirrels were too busy chattering and giggling about my predicament to pilfer my food!